


I'd rather live the nightmare

by Melinda_coulson



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friendship/Love, Philinda - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-17
Updated: 2015-03-17
Packaged: 2018-03-18 09:01:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3563900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melinda_coulson/pseuds/Melinda_coulson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How angry can coulson truly be? Can his concern for May overcome his anger? Based between Providence and "only light in d darkness".</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'd rather live the nightmare

Coulson woke up suddenly. He started looking around due to the unfamiliar surroundings and winced at the pain that flashed in his neck.He had slept off at his desk, again ,and on top of the files which he had hoped to go through by tonight. The clock on the desk read 3:34am and he slumped against his chair with a sigh. 

He had to start working, he was the director of SHIELD for god sake, and they were living in an underground safe house of fury. Also they had the question of HYDRA rising. Still, none of this was the reason for him waking up now. The providence was quiet except for the constant humming and beeping of the machines. But the noise, a noice which he recognised so well and yet it broke his heart every time he heard it. The soft, agitated , whimper coming from a very unlikely source. It was enough to make him forget about the paper work and ignore his anger for a while.The adjacent room was occupied my May. The youngest agents were allotted rooms further down the hall, and trip was near the main entrance, citing security reasons. How May convinced Koening into converting the storage space adjacent to his office into a bed room and getting it allotted for herself he didn't know. But then ,this was May. Thinking about May usually brought a smile to his face, but today dilemma and ache clouded his face. Despite being sociable and cordial, he was a senior agent and did not wear his heart on his sleeve, but May had been there since before he was a level 8 agent, or an agent at all for that matter. The fact that she kept secrets from him about his very existence hurt him in many more ways than he had ever imagined. He was bitter and aching, but he also knew that stress always made her nightmares worse and they were agonising enough to torment even the cavalry.

He reached her door and was surprised to find the room unlocked, not that he didn't have the master key. He knew that knocking would yield no result ,so he opened the door and let himself inside. The sight that met his eyes wasn't new , but was enough to crush him further, which he didn't even know was possible.  
May was lying on the bed, her limbs tangled in the sheets, hair plastered to the forehead and her usually calm, stoic face was contorted in agony. He knew that waking her up wasn't the right thing, but couldn't leave her either. So he waited. But when she started lashing out violently with her wimpering becoming louder, he couldn't take it anymore.  
"May, wake up, it's just a nightmare " he hoped to get a reply ,but in vain.  
She started crying out loud and thrashing. Fearing that she would hurt herself, he sat down on the bed to hold down her hands.  
"MELINDA! wake up! I m here" this got a reaction from her. Her eyes flew open. They were wild and scared. She looked much younger than her age.  
"Phil...." Was all she could manage before her voice choked. And before he could register what was happening her arms flew across his shoulders pulling him into a tight embrace. He could feel her uneven breath on his neck, and her heart hammering turbulently in her chest. He chose to ignore the tears than dampened his shirt as she clinged on to him. Unconsciously his hands snaked around her waist , pulling her closer and his chin rested on her head. Automatically his hands started drawing calming circles on her back. They stayed like that for he didn't know how long.

She was hauled back to reality when she felt the weight of his arms lifted off her body, taking along with them the warmth and comfort. With every ounce of strength she had she untangled her arms from around him and shifted away. She couldn't look at him. She was afraid of rejection and ashamed of still being stuck with a memory which was almost a decade old.. But when she saw him get off the bed to leave, she ignored all this...  
"Phil, I -"  
"I better get back to work"  
his words wiped away any hope melinda had. "You probably should "  
"Thank you "she murmured as he reached the door, a curt nod was all she got in reply before he opened the door and she heard his foot steps go further away.

She wanted to scream and shout in anger but she didn't know to do either, so all she could do was bite down on her lip to quell the pain that threatened to tear her heart apart ,even long after she felt the coppery taste on her tongue.  
For the first time she preferred living through her nightmare rather than waking up.

**Author's Note:**

> Your likes and comments are more important than you think ,so please don't hesitate.


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